In a recent article published by The Atlantic, The Secret Shame of the Middle-Class Americans, an alarming statistic emerged from a Federal Reserve Board survey conducted in 2013. Forty-seven percent of those surveyed said they could not come up with $400 to pay for an emergency. In order to do so, they’d need to borrow money or sell items they own.
Why aren’t we saving enough money to cover even the smallest emergencies?
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Recently, my husband and I decided to separate after fourteen years together, eight of them as a married couple. Matt and I met at 18 years old and immediately fell for each other in our freshman year of college. We never looked back because we knew we’d make great life partners. And, we have been great life partners for the half of our lives we’ve been together.
But, we’ve started down different paths, which has made us both question and yearn for our identity as individuals. This decision has been bittersweet for us both, but I’m trying to be as optimistic as possible about the future.
Just our life together took many years to create and build, there are now lots of puzzle pieces that need to come apart. The obvious ones are things like finding a new place for Matt to live, figuring out a schedule to each spend time with our three-year-old, and separating our joint bank accounts.
Now that some of the dust has settled, we’re starting to think about additional, long-term details that need sorting out as we move forward with our lives as individuals.
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There are a million and one decisions to make once you decide to get married. And, with wedding season upon us, I’m getting a lot of questions from clients on how to financially prepare for a future together.
When you get married, you want to start your shared life together on the right financial foot. (As an aside, that’s not by maxing out your budget or depleting savings on a wedding.) Most people are so involved with wedding planning that they put off having necessary money conversations that always arise after you tie the knot. If I’m honest, even as a financial planner, I still had some money fears after saying “I Do.”
Based on my years working as a financial planner (AKA a marriage financial therapist) and personal experience, there are six major money decisions you must make in order to set you and your spouse up for financial success.
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In April 2014, my husband and I made the radical decision to save enough money to quit our conventional 9-to-5 existence and move to a homestead in the woods of Vermont.
This dream stems from our shared love of hiking and the outdoors. We’re happiest when we’re in nature and want the ability to do that every day. The plan is to accomplish this dream by fall 2017.
Up until that watershed decision, we’d followed a fairly standard path: we went to college, secured jobs, got married, traveled, bought a home, and adopted a dog. We were living ‘the American Dream.’
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Americans aren’t known for shying away from hot button conversations. From the constant political spin on 24-hour news stations to our obsession with celebrities and reality television, we pour ourselves into current events, ongoing controversies, and people’s lives. And, we have strong opinions on them.
We seek endless advice and validation on raising children, arguments we have with friends, and which new restaurant we should try. But our openness knows boundaries because, for some reason, most conversations grind to a screeching halt when someone gets close to approaching the topic of money.
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For over a decade, I liked to think of myself as a party planner. Well, I guess I wasn’t so much of a “party planner” as I was an event coordinator. And when I say “event coordinator,” what I really mean was I organized important family gatherings and end of life rituals.
I was a funeral director.
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“Honey, if I die tomorrow tell my kids I love them, okay? Oh, and you too!”
This is the gem I whisper to my beautiful wife almost every other day in case, God forbid, my time runs out on this great planet. She hates it every time because it freaks her out (rightfully so), but personally, I sleep better knowing she and my kids will always know how loved they are.
The fact is, death is going to happen to us all, and we can’t control when. What we can control is how easily our loved ones can pick up the pieces after we’re gone. That’s why I’m prepared.
You know what else feels great to know? That my wife and kids will be taken care of financially should my demise come sooner than hoped.
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When I was first approached about writing this blog post, I almost turned it down. I was asked to write about death and dying, and, honestly, I just didn’t think I had much to say about it. Sure, I’ve experienced my fair share like everyone else, but it’s not a subject I’ve ever felt compelled to write about or discuss publicly (or at least on the internet).
Of course, I need to have some very important conversations with my loved ones about healthcare, retirement savings, organ donation, and life insurance if something were to happen to me, but, truthfully, it hasn’t been on my immediate agenda. And, since I have no intention of dying any time soon, it has always seemed like something I can push back to a later date.
When I was talking to the Haven Life team about the post and quietly plotting my getaway, Brittney asked me something that totally caught me off-guard and really made me think. She said: “What would happen to Carrots ‘N’ Cake if you died? Would you want someone to shut it down or do you want it to live on, or would you have someone post an exit blog entry?”
Whoa. I had never thought about it before, so, not surprisingly, my initial response was a bit dumbfounded.
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It’s the New Year, and you’re focused on at least attempting to honor all those resolutions you set just a few days ago. Things like losing weight, joining a gym, saving more money and finally taking that trip to some exotic location probably top the list.
Assuming you’ve already purchased life insurance to protect your family’s finances, there’s one more item that should be added to your “Must Do in 2016” list, and it’s creating a will.
“Do I really need a will?” is one of the most common questions I get asked as a financial planner. I argue that most everyone should have a will, but it’s especially necessary if you have kids, significant assets and are married.
Whether you truly understand what a will does, we all know that it’s an important document that includes really important decisions. The reality of life is that you can’t predict when something might happen to you and since you’ve spent your entire life collecting things and building assets, it doesn’t make sense that you wouldn’t have a will in place to determine how they should be handled.
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Following up from our first article where we Addressed Your Financial Fears, there was a theme in a lot of your questions about retirement. You’re worried about retirement, and rightfully so. If you are under the age of 40, chances are your life expectancy could be well into your 90s if not 100s, which means you could spend 30+ years in retirement. You need to make sure that your money doesn’t expire before you do, which is a tough task in today’s economy.
Don’t be upset if your 401(k) balance doesn’t have a ton of zeros after it. You guys had some thoughtful questions about retirement that will help set you all on the right path for retirement saving.
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