For over a decade, I liked to think of myself as a party planner. Well, I guess I wasn’t so much of a “party planner” as I was an event coordinator. And when I say “event coordinator,” what I really mean was I organized important family gatherings and end of life rituals.
I was a funeral director.
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“Honey, if I die tomorrow tell my kids I love them, okay? Oh, and you too!”
This is the gem I whisper to my beautiful wife almost every other day in case, God forbid, my time runs out on this great planet. She hates it every time because it freaks her out (rightfully so), but personally, I sleep better knowing she and my kids will always know how loved they are.
The fact is, death is going to happen to us all, and we can’t control when. What we can control is how easily our loved ones can pick up the pieces after we’re gone. That’s why I’m prepared.
You know what else feels great to know? That my wife and kids will be taken care of financially should my demise come sooner than hoped.
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When I was first approached about writing this blog post, I almost turned it down. I was asked to write about death and dying, and, honestly, I just didn’t think I had much to say about it. Sure, I’ve experienced my fair share like everyone else, but it’s not a subject I’ve ever felt compelled to write about or discuss publicly (or at least on the internet).
Of course, I need to have some very important conversations with my loved ones about healthcare, retirement savings, organ donation, and life insurance if something were to happen to me, but, truthfully, it hasn’t been on my immediate agenda. And, since I have no intention of dying any time soon, it has always seemed like something I can push back to a later date.
When I was talking to the Haven Life team about the post and quietly plotting my getaway, Brittney asked me something that totally caught me off-guard and really made me think. She said: “What would happen to Carrots ‘N’ Cake if you died? Would you want someone to shut it down or do you want it to live on, or would you have someone post an exit blog entry?”
Whoa. I had never thought about it before, so, not surprisingly, my initial response was a bit dumbfounded.
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It’s the New Year, and you’re focused on at least attempting to honor all those resolutions you set just a few days ago. Things like losing weight, joining a gym, saving more money and finally taking that trip to some exotic location probably top the list.
Assuming you’ve already purchased life insurance to protect your family’s finances, there’s one more item that should be added to your “Must Do in 2016” list, and it’s creating a will.
“Do I really need a will?” is one of the most common questions I get asked as a financial planner. I argue that most everyone should have a will, but it’s especially necessary if you have kids, significant assets and are married.
Whether you truly understand what a will does, we all know that it’s an important document that includes really important decisions. The reality of life is that you can’t predict when something might happen to you and since you’ve spent your entire life collecting things and building assets, it doesn’t make sense that you wouldn’t have a will in place to determine how they should be handled.
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Following up from our first article where we Addressed Your Financial Fears, there was a theme in a lot of your questions about retirement. You’re worried about retirement, and rightfully so. If you are under the age of 40, chances are your life expectancy could be well into your 90s if not 100s, which means you could spend 30+ years in retirement. You need to make sure that your money doesn’t expire before you do, which is a tough task in today’s economy.
Don’t be upset if your 401(k) balance doesn’t have a ton of zeros after it. You guys had some thoughtful questions about retirement that will help set you all on the right path for retirement saving.
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A couple of weeks ago I shared my financial fears in marriage and some tips and tricks I’ve used over the years to overcome them. I love doing posts like this because not only do I get to share the fact that I, too, have financial fears but it gives me an opportunity to find out if all of us have similar concerns. Spoiler alert: we do!
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“Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life,” wrote Oscar Wilde, but we think some of the greatest art — or at least TV — shines in executing the latter. Shows dating back farther than The Honeymooners were built on the idea that our everyday lives — our marriages, our kids, our jobs — hearten us and make us laugh, and the continued success of quintessential shows like Modern Family have proven that belief still rings true.
With hundreds of channels and dozens of platforms for watching TV, there’s only more opportunity to laugh at the everyday comedy of life, and to cry at its challenging realities. Things aren’t perfect, but there’s plenty of love, respect, and fun to go around. They rarely disappoint and they almost always comfort. So pop the popcorn, kick back, and enjoy these four shows that truly capture the modern family.
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I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have a few after the bliss of the wedding day wore off and reality was upon us. Although many fears come and go, I’ve faced three major fears in marriage that I’m sure many of you can relate to. Rest easy, though, because there are solutions.
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We all like real talk. We’ll gossip about people we know. We’ll judge parenting choices. We’ll be sure to let you know what we think about Donald Trump. We’ll even talk about things that happen behind bedroom doors.
But, when it comes to financial real talk and divulging the details of our family’s planning habits? We’re not having any of that.
You know what people hate even more at dinner parties? Talking about death. No one wants to talk about the inevitable. We’d prefer to just ignore death even though the end is going to come for all of us. Just imagine you’re sitting at a dinner table with friends. You’re all enjoying a great meal out. The kids are home, so the conversation (and the wine) is flowing. There’s a lull in the conversation between gossip about the new baseball coach and talk of your kids.
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Parenting is stressful.
It’s challenging, it’s tiring, and worst of all, it’s important. I don’t care if you have one kid, two kids, five kids, or are the Duggars. Being a parent is like living inside a pressure cooker. And, it gets hotter every day.
Especially when you turn up the heat by having multiple children.
When you have kids, your normal everyday fears (the generic stuff everyone worries about) – health, finances, the future, if the new Star Wars movie will actually deliver – are immediately multiplied, because now, on top of your own stuff, you’re also worrying about someone else’s health and finances and future and level of appreciation for Star Wars.
I’m going gray(er) just thinking about it.
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