How to work from home with kids

We’re all doing our part to help prevent the spread of COVID-19 — and for many families, that means staying at home. Many parents have been asked to work remotely, and many children have been given school assignments to complete at home or online. The resulting confinement creates a stressful, close-quarters situation—imagine a relaxing staycation, and then imagine the exact opposite, and you’ve pretty much got the idea.

What does that mean for your family? How do you balance parenting, working, helping your children with their schoolwork, managing younger children who might need a lot of attention or assistance and keeping up with everyday household duties like cooking and cleaning? How can everyone in the household get their work done and their needs met, keep up with the latest developments in the ongoing crisis, while still making time to enjoy each other’s company?

Here are our tips, with additional insight from a family therapist and a Haven Life team member who is currently balancing in the trenches himself.

Create a routine

As tempting as it may be to relax your typical household routine — especially now that you no longer have to set alarms or do the morning rush — establishing a new routine as quickly as possible is a good way to help your children feel safe and cared for.

“Creating a constant routine for your child will be of huge importance in order to manage a child’s anxiety during a time when their normal routine has been thrown off,” explains Kim Egel, a licensed marriage and family therapist in San Diego. “Having consistent times for meals, education, play, etc., is an important way to set up structure in order to relieve anxiety in a time of high fear.”

This means that, while you might want to incorporate fun, not-so-everyday activities into your shared time together — like pancake breakfasts or pajama days — you also want to create a sense of structure and predictability. Kids should know when it’s time to eat, when it’s time to do schoolwork, when it’s time to play and when it’s time to let Mommy or Daddy get their work done.

Divide the duties

If both parents are working from home, it’s time to divide the duties. You’ll be in charge of the kids from breakfast to lunch, for example, and your partner will take over between lunch and dinner. During the hours when you’re not actively parenting, you can focus on whatever remote work needs to get done.

If only one parent is working from home, it’s still important to divvy up the work. Adam Weinberg, Brand Director at Haven Life, is currently taking on extra domestic duties to help his wife, a teacher, who is taking the lead on watching the kids while Weinberg works.

“It’s important to realize that part of your daily job responsibilities may expand,” Weinberg told us. “My wife is working hard with the kids during the day, so in the evening, after my workday ends, I try to prepare dinner, clean the house, etc. Teamwork is essential.”

Weinberg also notes that it can be difficult to stick to the division of labor. “When you can hear your partner struggling with the kids in the other room, it’s a tough decision between focusing on your work-work and getting up to lend a hand with the little ones.” Ultimately, it comes down to what needs to be prioritized in the moment — so try to stay flexible.

Know what to prioritize

On the subject of priorities: You’re probably going to be a little less productive than usual. Your kids might get a little more screen time and a few extra snacks. It’s time to figure out where you need to focus your efforts, and where you can let go. If you’re working from home, for example, Weinberg suggests asking yourself “What is the most valuable work I can be working on right now?”

It’s also important to understand other family members’ priorities. Maybe your partner has a work deadline and needs you to do your best to keep the kids occupied. Maybe one of your kids is having a rough day and needs a listening ear (or some snuggles). “Having respect for what another’s top priorities are, while balancing those priorities with the element of compromise, can greatly impact the overall positive flow of a family unit,” Egel explains.

In other words: now is the time to work together, as a family, to make sure what really matters gets done.

Plan calming activities

It’s also important to build moments of calm into your family’s day. While you might be tempted to set the kids up with piles of crafts, games, flashcards and other educationally stimulating activities, you should also try to set aside some time for everyone in the family to relax together.

“Be mindful of activities that you can engage in to help create inner calm,” Egel advises. This could be anything from a family movie night to a family yoga practice, depending on your kids’ ages and interests. Reading aloud is always a good option, especially as a way to wind down before bed. Weather permitting, get outside. Enjoy your yard or patio, if you have one, or take a walk or bike ride around the neighborhood (while maintaining appropriate social distance from anyone you encounter).

Remember that your kids look to you as an example of how to behave. As Egel puts it: “You are their major role model for how to cope when things get stressful.” If you navigate this period of uncertainty as calmly as possible, your children may follow your lead.

Enjoy the moments

Lastly, don’t forget to enjoy the moments. Parents often wish they could spend more time with their children, so take advantage of it — have the pillow fight, break out the bubble wands, and take some time every day to both enjoy and appreciate your family.

We’re all hoping that life will go back to normal soon. Until then, try to treat this time together as special.